Hello Dear Friends,
I hope you all enjoyed a lovely break and that things are going well for you all.
I wanted to begin by expressing my heartfelt thanks to you for receiving my newsletter and the fact that you would spend your precious time reading it, and my blogs, many of you over so many years. And your support and interest around the book. I am thankful you give me the opportunity to share with you - it is a gift you give to me. It is no small thing to offer your time to another person - I am very grateful. Sometimes what I write may resonate, other times you may feel it is not relevant or maybe unhelpful. When you read what I have written you offer me your attention and time - a generous gift I appreciate very much.
I had my second last chemo treatment on Thursday April 9th, so that is 5 down and only one to go. It is a certainly an up and down time, but thanks to the wonderful support I have received from staff at Cabrini, friends and family, it is made so much easier.
Last weekend I was thankful to be very well cared for by my daughter Alice and her partner Dan. It is so wonderful and such fun to be with them. I was reminded that being around their positive, kind, fun and caring energy is the best medicine. More about the importance of positivity. and having a laugh in the blog combing up .
I wanted to write about the underestimated power of a smile, laughter and gratitude to make us feel good. When we feel good it's much easier to have a positive attitude to what's going on, including during tricky times.
Sometimes we may think that smiling and laughing are only possible when things are going well. But we know that smiling and laughing release hormones that allow us to feel good - we can do this at any time to help foster a positive attitude, even when things are tough.
It is great to just walk down the street and give a smile to those you meet - gives us all the opportunity to lift our mood.
Having a positive attitude will help us to find a positive attitude to the problem whereas remaining negative will prevent us from believing there is a solution and may cause us to give up.
A word of warning though, it can be easy to make the mistake of expressing 'toxic positivity'.
This is when we avoid, suppress or reject our negative emotions or experiences and jump straight to a forced optimistic state. Equally unhelpful is over indulging our negative emotions with blame and criticism. Positivity only becomes a problem when we use it to reject our negative emotions.
It is important to be aware of our emotions, to feel them and allow them to pass though, to connect with our wisdom to give ourselves the compassion we need. I often say to myself, "I am so sorry you are feeling this way or experiencing this difficult situation".
That self- compassion allows me to find the positives and even sometimes have a laugh as my 'IV Pole Dancing' experience showed me.
I have been trying to find ways to find the positives and even have a laugh during the tricky situations that arise during my chemo treatment. One such situation is the frequent need for me to make toilet trips with my 'IV pole'.
This image is depicting my 'IV pole dancing' efforts as I dance my way to and from the Cabrini loo.
The chemo drugs have to be flushed through with one litre of saline, two times. So there are lots of opportunities to dance my IV pole to and from the loo.
I was frustrated by the loo coming and going and even thought about asking to stay on the loo with my pole for the hour. This is but one of the many experiences which has helped me to remember to avoid suppression of my negative emotions.
Being aware of and accepting the emotions of frustration, sadness and anger, and the tiredness and nausea associated with having chemotherapy, rather than avoiding or suppressing them and falling into 'toxic positivity' has been so helpful.
Taking the time to process my emotions and experiences and to give myself the self-compassion I need, changes everything. When I do this with by saying to myself. "I'm so sorry this is so frustrating/hard/etc", I. can then go on to find the positives and even have a laugh.