Turning Unwise Activity into Wise Self-Care
Remember to rest and prioritise your self-care practices. Embrace Eleanor Brown's wisdom: ‘You cannot serve from an empty vessel.’ Break free from guilt, replenish, and share your newfound energy.
Sometimes I find it hard to rest, take a break or ask for help. I have wacky beliefs tike - being busy is a good thing; I should be able to do it all; and that it would be lazy or selfish of me to stop and rest. This can often see me neglecting my needs for self care, running myself into the ground, feeling tired and resentful.
I took time to ponder—with curiosity and compassion— what my need for busyness, overdoing, and neglect of my self care needs was all about. Could it be that I’m avoiding feelings I don’t want to feel, or not wanting to acknowledge parts of myself that I fear are lazy, uncaring or selfish? I do find it difficult to recognise those aspects of myself when they arise, so perhaps I’m numbing or masking them with busyness. They are coming up for me to be healed so I need to befriend them with love.
Of course, at times, we can all be a bit lazy and might need to be more proactive to get things done or be more ‘other focused’. But at other times—like when I need to take time to rest and recover from surgery—it is important to look after ourselves wisely and take a break to refuel. Rest and self-care are crucial. Novelist Eleanor Brown, puts it beautifully, ‘When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.’ I have found that refuelling gives me more to give to others.
My recent illness and surgery has been a wonderful opportunity to explore the importance of taking time to rest and replenish. I like to think of this as befriending my task-master ego's idea that I need to be busy overdoing by saying 'thanks for sharing' and then tuning into my wise best friend self for some kind encouragement to practice wise self care, including listening to what my body needs, and balancing wise activity with rest and relaxation. My ‘task master’ voice can be loud with comments like, ‘It is lazy to spend too much time resting and relaxing,' and 'Prioritising my own needs means that I am neglecting the needs of others. How untrue.
When I tune into my wise self, I am reminded that it is neither lazy nor selfish to take time out and there is no need to feel guilty or unworthy about taking a break to refuel. Taking time to rest, replenish and take breaks ensures that I recover and have something to share with others and makes me more pleasant to be around. Running on empty, with nothing to give, benefits no one. Taking this time to rest and recover doesn't prevent anyone else from doing the same; I have not taken an opportunity for a break from them by taking one myself.
So, what are some helpful things to be reminded of when it comes to befriending my hard taskmaster and tuning into my wise self to turn unwise activity into wise self care?
Armed with this wiser perspective, I am practicing wise self care by ......
Tuning into the Wisdom of the Body
One important ways I can take better care of myself is by tuning into my body's needs for nutrition, balanced non-harmful activity and rest. I am no help to anyone including myself if I am tired, malnourished, busy or stressed. A quote I love from Sarah Ford about sloths—who in my opinion undeservedly get a bad wrap—'Sloths are always true to themselves They don't exercise (because that is not what their bodies need - our bodies needs may be different of course), but they do look after themselves - they eat well, sleep well. and are in tune with their minds and bodies in all of their hairy entirety
We may ignore the wisdom of the body when we eat or drink too much or too little, strive to push our bodies beyond what is comfortable or safe, being inactive when our body needs to be moving or getting stuck in busy mode and unable to stop to rest and relax.
Balance Activity and Rest
Take some downtime to relax and recharge so you can continue to be a positive force in the world. Take a Five-Minute Shavasana or break to replenish—Take five minutes to lie on the couch with eyes closed and enjoy breathing mindfully. Refreshing refuelling breaks might include going outside into nature or simply looking out the window , a massage, a walk, meditation, gardening, reading, singing, dancing —or whatever brings you pleasure and fills your tank, so you have energy and joy to share with others.
Act From Love
Meggan Watterson, says, ‘Take action when what is moving you is love at the heart.’For me, this is about checking in with my wise self and acting from there. Gandhi offers similar advice: ‘"In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all."
Embrace Country Pace
Be ‘slow and steady’ as the story of the hare and tortoise suggests. We often achieve more and create more peace when we work at a relaxed, steady pace with regular breaks.
Take Time to Disconnect from Technology
A technology detox can be restorative for peace of mind. When I integrating these tech-free periods into my life I find it offers many rewards.
Be Patient
When I feel the urge to rush, I take a Breath and say this patience mantra to myself, ‘I have no need to rush; I have plenty of time.’
Ask for Help
Often I am reluctant to ask for help when I need it. This not only deprives me of the opportunity to get what I need, it also denies the other person the chance to feel good about helping.
Do More of What Brings You Joy
I know I am ‘on purpose’ when the activity I am doing is fun and joyful. Simple or outrageous things can create more joy.too I love a swing at the park, a plod around the block in the morning, listening to Tina Turner loud, cooking and doing creative, crafty things.
Be your own best friend—that calm, kind, encouraging voice that reassures us that wise self care is what we need.
So, by being my own best friend and giving myself the encouragement, reassurance and support I need, I am ready to put that wisdom into action to practice wise self care. With wisdom I can then transform busy unwise activity into wise self-care.